A Ramadan Special you’ll never forget

Ramazan ke Chamakte Sitaray

Another reality TV show is about to hit the Pakistani TV screens, featuring the bold and beautiful from the very best Ramadan specials on air right now. The show will have hosts battle it out for the “Ramazan Ka Shazada/Shahzadi” title. Reality TV shows are all the rage these days and Pakistani channels have also on occasion tried their hands at the genre. However, the show titled Ramazan ke Chamakte Sitaray, is aimed at putting an end to the rating wars by becoming the king of the hill. The combination of religion, entertainment and Pakistan’s sizzling sensations helps make it a unique combination of flavours that the mango mans loves.

Our favourite men

He’s the dark avenger. Shia by night and Sunni by day, he is the perfect hybrid. All set to give Oprah Winfrey a run for her money, Amir Liaqat is one of the top contenders to be cast in the show. And he’s brining to us this Ramadan season a show that is so jam packed with fun that it’ll knock the roza straight out of your system. Amir is a fan favourite because he helps bring a human element to the table. He’s a man with his flaws, he curses, he’s sometimes contradictory and he makes a million mistakes as a celebrity. But that’s why the public loves him! On his own show Amir recently handed out a ton of gifts, including an actual living, breathing baby, to a loveless couple. No other show can boast of that many presents given out (although many try). His raunchy but charismatic appeal may end up being his secret weapon on the show. He can certainly put an end to any rating wars with another edited/doctored leaked video but he likes to play games.

JJ is the next big star on the show’s cast. Amir Liaqat may have all the goods but JJ isn’t far behind. While he may not have babies to hand out to his audience he does have his brilliant voice. Taking a leaf out of every Christian rhyme he’s ever heard, he brings for us the very best in Naats. JJ has an additional fan following that Amir does not enjoy i.e., proper Muslim women and their husbands. For Ramazan ke Chamakte Sitaray he’s expected to outline the dos and don’ts of being proper Muslim women – we’re hoping he’ll take the lead from his popular stance on women drivers first.

Tahir Ashrafi is the last guy to join our list of top hosts. He will be brining to the table his great charm, his cute bulky appearance, and his interesting ideals. The Deobandi believes in spreading love (only to Deobandis) and will be talking his way into the hearts of his audience with the best teachings. His TV channel has apologised in advance in case he makes any threatening statements to any member of religious minority.

The lovely ladies

Maya Khan made headlines in the past because of her Shariah scanner eyes. She can tell merely by looking at a couple if their marriage certificate is valid/exists or not. Rumour has it that she makes sure all ladies on her show are skipping fasts for the right reasons. As part of the show she will be touting religious and cultural believes as her selling point. Maya will additionally be looking to convert Hindu and Christian members of the audience that have found their way into the audience (either on purpose or by mistake). Muslim members of the audience will be encouraged to participate so they can share in the sawab. Maya will also be helping Muslims become better Muslims by pointing out every single flaw they have as a Muslim Pakistani. Her aim would be to instill those values and codes of conduct that people had missed out on before.

Food is an integral part of the Ramadan season and no one does flavours better than Zubaida Apa. Her presence on the show will help not only prepare the food for the audience’s iftar, but also help remind people how to perfect classic dishes they already know how to make. Apa’s motto is to keep things simple and stick to the basics, so don’t fret if you don’t like complicated or weird recipes you’ve never heard of!

Veena Malik’s show on Hero TV was a grand success but the actress failed to reprise her place to offer kaffara. She has other commitments this year which is why she will be appearing on the show as a co-contestant with Mathira. The two ladies will have solo appearances when there’s a timing clash, but mostly be a part of the show as twins. They’re slated to argue and present realistic debates with religious scholars. Their main aim is to teach the audience about love and relationships. Veena will also be dishing out a Bollywood style performance on selective naats while Mathira will have an additional small segment talking about family planning and provide real advice to men and women looking for help.

Some criticism

Some pseudo-liberals and intellectual elitists have predicted that the show will not last very long on the local air waves for a number of reasons, citing the hosts being despicable, the topics being absurd and also that religion was being commercialised. The producers when asked about such attitude in return predicted that the general masses would not care for such opinions. “Alhumdulilah the ratings speak for themselves”, scoffed one, “Facebook per batain karney dein, awam ko shows pasand hain”, said another. The audience seems to love these hosts despite their flaws, and such people need to adopt a more forgiving attitude as well.

Exciting members of the general public can apply to become a part of the live audience. The show will kick off during the last ashra of Ramadan to promote the very best of Islamic teachings with a whole lot of fun and games. Sahir Lodhi will be taking the reigns as the hunky TV host, a decision which was made by the producers on great public demand.

The writer is a journalist based in Lahore. She can be emailed at [email protected]. She tweets @luavut