THE PPP’s media apparatus has an MQM situation on its hands. You see, the MQM, despite its considerable media management, simply cannot get around a particular problem. That inactionable variable: its leader. Whereas the spin machine operators of other parties work hard to get their leaders some screen time, in the MQM’s case, whatever goodwill it tries to cultivate outside its turf dissipates every time the London Nightingale sings his arias on TV. Despite his breathtakingly good looks, the content of Altaf Hussein’s speeches are the sort that could appeal only to those completely and utterly in love with the man. And this demographic is only a sliver of even those who do “vote” for the MQM.
Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, though not an Altaf, is a bit of a problem in his own right. A recent video of his, where he tries to rally support for the elections, has been shared on the social media by PPP-haters many more times over than the PPP itself. The more people see it, the more they hate the boy, the party and everything they represent, at least to them. The video comes in the so-bad-that-its-good category, which explain its viral nature.
Bilawal does not know how to speak Urdu. At a time when even speaking chaste Urdu, one that does not have the twang of a regional accent, is considered elitist, speaking pidgin Anglicised Urdu with much effort really hits the wrong notes on the populist register.
Bilawal really is a lost opportunity. If his role in life was clear earlier on, which it probably was, there was time to groom him. Sort of like the princes of yore. No, not teach him how to duel with swords but by now, he should have not only been fluent in Urdu but also be able to speak at least two regional languages, Punjabi and Sindhi in his case.
As things stand now, even in the languages he does know how to speak, he probably won’t be able to hold his own in the sort of talk shows where the lesser mortals of his party do battle day in and day out. In fact, in a fair fight, a sub-district president of his PSF would be able to run circles around him.
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BUT one thing certainly does rankle. The public has no issues with the Quaid-e-Azam’s speeches. And his Urdu wasn’t really in the impeccable region. Bilawal at least does not have anything to say about the language issue. Jinnah was adamant that “Urdu, and only Urdu” should be the national language of the new republic, much to the chagrin of East Pakistanis. It was – some historians argue, if rather simplistically – the beginning of the Bengali freedom struggle.
Why compare Jinnah to Bilawal, you ask? If this is an apples-and-oranges thing, then it should be pointed out that no two leaders are quite the same. But if there are some universal, objective characteristics with which to weigh a prime ministerial candidate and a guy running for the president of a market association in a small city alike, one assumes assessment of language skills is one of these.
Furthermore, if the language issue is so very important to – if one were to surmise from the internet alone – PTI supporters, then, would they grudgingly concede that Asif Zardari has addressed crowds in more languages than their own leader? Would they accept this one positive attribute of the Prince of Evil, the reason why there are earthquakes in the country, President Evil Asif Zardari?
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AT the end of the day, however, the PPP is not the MQM. Jiyalas can be critical of the head honcho if they say it to his/her face in private. There isn’t that much of a fear factor here. The boy who would be king could have been told his speech just doesn’t cut it. He was probably forced to record it in the first place. Speech therapy is the order of the day. It just might produce a leader who is not laughable by the time of the election after this one. Which – yes, this will hurt some of you – might belong to the PPP.