White Lies

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The Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf would make for a good TV high-school series. It is already filled with cliques of mean girls and douches.

Take the saga of Fauzia Kasuri and Dr Shireen “It’s aliiiive!” Mazari. The former, archetypal entry from the “auntie” brigade, was a darn good fundraiser. The latter doesn’t, as is rumoured, eat children, and carries some clout with the powers that be.

But the name-calling got too much and out went Dr Mazari, after having written an open letter to Imran Khan. Cut to the dual-nationality saga and Ms Kasuri had to face the music for her US nationality and was disqualified at the party-level.

Dr Mazari is now back in the party and is women’s reserved seat number one. Ms Kasuri, having renounced her nationality, is at number four and seems to have been given the raw end of the deal. Matters were made worse when Baby Mazari tweeted that Kasuri was a liar and was taking credit for writing the party constitution which had actually been written by her mother.

Coming soon, on your favourite TV channel!

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The MQM chief has spoken. After this election, no candidate partial to paan and ghutka would be getting the party’s election ticket.

The move is said to be motivated by a desire to improve the party’ image. Which is strange, really, because as far as the whole image thing is concerned, paan and ghutka come way, way lower on the list when it comes to the MQM.