What are your memories of becoming Miss World? I belong to a family of academicians. I was a science student who wanted to become an engineer. When I was crowned Miss World, my mother came onstage and hugged me. Then while still holding me in a hug, she whispered, ‘Who is going to study now?’
What part do your parents play in your decision-making process? My father is conservative, but has always supported my decisions. He lets me take my own decisions. His only condition while allowing me to come to Mumbai was that my mother should accompany me. Even though my mother was 40 years old at the time, and she was a high-flying gynaecologist in Bareilly, she put aside her career and came to live with me at a paying guest accommodation to help me chase my dreams.
Were there things that upset you about being a part of the industry? I came without backing… so in the beginning, I got thrown out of three films even after I signed them because some other actors were recommended and had to be accommodated. That really upset me. I was told to my face that I was being thrown out because so-and-so person had to be taken. It taught me the value of hard work and I have earned my place here through that. I never say no even if I am told to do something at sub-zero temperatures. Initially, I used to be very outgoing and friendly, but that made people link me up with anybody and everybody. So now, I have become a reserved and private person. The third thing that upsets me is my failure. If my film does not do well, it really hurts me. But by God’s grace, even if some of my films may not have done well, people have still liked my work in it.
How important is it for you to be in the top position? For me, being on top means the people I work with should perceive the same and they should work with me again and again. Long ago, Mr Bachchan had said in a Filmfare interview that instead of looking at the value of the film, he considered the value of his part even if he had just two lines or two scenes. He said people must say ‘Kya line boli hai’. These words of his have always stayed with me. I have always wanted to be the sum of more than just my movies. I want to be a persona like Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. I imbibe from people I work with and I want to be like them.
Why are you so closed about your relationships? I am a very private person. No one ever knows anything about me as I don’t think it is necessary. As much as I want people to know, I tell them. Your relationships have made you many friends and enemies at the same time. I am not a part of any camp and any friendship or relationship is entirely on my account. The bad hurts me and me alone, and the good comes because of my amazing personality.
Do you see yourself married? My ambition, when I was four years old, was to be married!
What kind of man would he be? The man I marry needs to be a chhavi of my dad. It doesn’t matter which profession or place he belongs to, but he should be someone whom I respect tremendously; he should be an achiever with family values and he should have a sense of humour, be intelligent and should be the life of the party.
How do you cope with your dad’s illness? It’s tough, but I don’t like to talk about it as my dad would not like me to do so. It’s on my mind 24×7. I am my daddy’s little girl. He is my superhero. You do the best you can and then leave the rest to God.
Have you ever had cosmetic surgery? So far, I have never felt the need for any enhancement surgery. What I have is what I have been blessed with. People had a lot of issues about the fact that I was dusky and not a conventional-looking heroine. But I still got the opportunities I did. Grooming is a very important part of any girl’s life. In the early days, I did not even know how to apply make-up. Over the years, with the help of various teams, I have worked on a vision of me and there are things that I could change in the process. This is true of most heroines. You learn to take care of yourself. I am not against plastic surgery. If it helps build self-esteem, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. But if it becomes an obsession, that can be a problem. For me, I got confidence from my films doing well. Through this profession, I came to understand myself better. So, it hurts when people judge or crucify me on imaginary counts. I have looked different at different ages because I have worked on my look. I love myself the way I am.
I have never felt the need for cosmetic surgery
