My personal life put blocks to my career: If my personal space were to help my professional sphere, I’d be very glad – but it never did. Right from the day I entered the industry, my personal life had never helped me – it had, in fact, put blocks to my career. Because some things are very clear in this business – single girl works more, don’t talk about your boyfriend – these are things that help when you’re starting, perhaps not once your name is made. But the curiosity is there, it’s huge. I have to start seeing someone now. How dare you be single, it’s that sort of tone! I used to be scared of that word once. But the media threw it so much, so often in my face that a stage came when I actually turned around and said, all right, I’m the poster girl of being single.
Men today are only looking for mothers: Honestly, the quality of men, they are looking only for mothers. And sometimes you don’t want to play the mother, it’s really exhausting! If any guy even remotely gives me the dukhiyari vibes, I am like no, please don’t call me again!
Guys in the industry take the business so seriously. They put unnecessary pressure on themselves. They will not become globally renowned hallmark actors overnight, that’s not going to happen. Confidence is rather fragile in the men. They have their own baggages and egos and competing with someone else or whatever they are doing. Half their life goes in that. If they use that in focusing on what they want, the process of living would be much lighter, easier. But they make it very difficult. Everything they do in life is “pressure”. “Oh, it’s such a battle!” I don’t have too much of sympathy for that. I’m like, OK, it’s tough? Tough for you, not for me!
People younger than me, they’re waiting for this very big moment in their lives, which is elusive, which you don’t know whether it’ll come or not, but they can’t appreciate the small things, the everyday happiness of life. Sometimes you want to sympathise, but then it’s their own life. It’s not just in the film industry. People want to live with a struggle in their heads. “I’m struggling”. I’m like, wow, struggle, go on!.
When I became single, everybody wanted to ask me out: Some time off love is good. When I became single, someone wrote that I am putting up a front. I told him, stop putting this pathetic image of mine. Don’t feel bad for me. I don’t want anyone to sympathise with me, but they just don’t stop! This whole thing about a single girl, alone, can’t be happy, is very bizarre. Single girls get so much attention – they should be happier. When I became single, I got so much attention, that I had to say, what’s going on! These are the same people I knew earlier. Everyone wants to ask you out, it’s scary. Everyone called me a schoolgirl. Anyway, I don’t like the word. You’re born single, you die single, but why not being in a relationship is some special ‘single’ status, I don’t understand. Life is less stress being single, I have to admit. I have never been single before this – since 15, I have been in a relationship. It’s so simple.
At 15, I wanted to marry my first boyfriend: My mother fell down when I told her about my boyfriend at 15. My older sister was very chalu – she had boyfriends and she never told my mother. But when I had my first boyfriend in school, the day I accepted his proposal, I came to my mother and said, I want to marry him. This is my boyfriend, I’m gonna live and die with him. I’m that kind of a girl. I used to wear shorts, and I told mom suddenly that I’m no longer going to wear shorts, I’ll wear salwar-kameez because his parents are Marwari and they don’t like it! He’s vegetarian, so I turned vegetarian for two months. His parents met me, my parents met him, like that, all honest and open, nothing hidden. My mother’s ideal boy for me is – we make so much fun of it – Hindu, ‘good boy’, rich, tall. And I say momma, why are you biased against short people? My mother never liked any of my boyfriends. Never. Nobody deserves to be with me because I am such a good girl! Mom just hopes that now finally things will happen her way (laughs) – Christian boyfriend, Christian boyfriend, she used to go on and on!
I went through an operation because of a lie: My resolution for this year was that I’m going to learn to lie. As a liar, I’m so pathetic, people can look at my face and tell. The resolution failed quite miserably. I get caught. When I was a kid, I tried to lie once, and it was a very bad lie I got into. I was getting ready for my pre-boards. I was a very good student; I used to come first in all sections. I hadn’t prepared very well for my maths exam. And I hated getting low marks – which was going to happen.
So I did something to miss that exam – I fainted. And I did such a good fainting act! My mother and my uncle actually hospitalised me that night. In the hospital I began to realise that this was getting way too serious, it was beyond what I wanted – which was just a one day gap. Like a budhdhu, I kept holding the right side of my abdomen and faking pain. The doctors said, she seems to have an appendix problem, we need to operate immediately or else it might burst. I then went on and on saying my dad isn’t in town, I won’t have this done in his absence. I could not believe what was happening. But they forcefully operated on me. I’d done a fabulous fainting job, fell down some steps also, so everyone thought I was in acute pain, plus there was a little inflammation. I went through an appendicitis operation because of that lie! I couldn’t give any of the exams. I couldn’t walk for days. And I couldn’t tell anyone! I must have told my best friend, told John sometime. But my parents, I finally told them two years back. I told them the whole story, see, that’s why I don’t lie. My father said, ‘I should have known you’ll be an actress!’ Strange kid I was.
