Pakistan Today

Osama keeps an eye on earth from hell!

A year after Osama bin Laden was killed by US Navy SEALS in Abbottabad, the world’s number one terrorist is keeping busy tweeting from hell! According to an Indian Express report, dozens of fake accounts were floated on Twitter shortly after bin Laden’s death and ever since, there has been no stopping the updates and “fatwas” from “hell”. “My ex-wife is talking to ABC News. This is even more disrespectful than the time she asked to look out a window…,” read a tweet by a fake account operated by “Osama”. Another one pronounces that “hot chocolate is haram”. The descriptions of Osama on the many fake accounts are hilarious. One such account describes him as “former public enemy #1”. One tweet on a fake account went: “…faked my own death, now travelling the world. Maybe I’m coming to your city! Check your local al-Qaeda branch!” On other accounts, the messages are matter-of-fact: “I was the leader of al-Qaeda. Now I’m dead” or “Those still alive can reach me at OsamaInHell” or “I was once the best terrorist of all time! Greatest ever at hide and seek!” Sometimes the tweets are scary. “I may be dead…but life continues!!!” or “71% of the Earth is covered in oceans. So I may be anywhere!! (Remember that!)” The American commandos took away bin Laden’s body after shooting him in his compound located a short distance from the Pakistan Military Academy. His body was later buried at sea. Bin Laden’s three widows and 11 members of his family were recently deported to Saudi Arabia. One tweet on a fake account on the first death anniversary of bin Laden was rather philosophical. “It’s been almost a year… Time flies when you’re dead!” Another one read: “What is it with Obama and surprise visits on May 1st?” A popular spoof website went a step further and published an interview with bin Laden: “The guys in Heaven all want to come down here. There’s no hot stuff up there – not even a Lamb Tikka Masala. Man, I tell you, it’s sure great fun here in Hell”. Bin Laden claimed he was friends with Stalin and Hitler. “Stalin’s a great guy. Vow! If only I had met him while I was still in your Earth zone. Adolf is a nice guy too, but he is a bit of a stiff. Keeps on about how he should not be down here in Hell but up in Heaven ‘cause of the good things he’d done in his Earth life.” Unfortunately, the biggest spoof-like story emanating on bin Laden’s first death anniversary is for real. A local English newspaper reported that people were visiting the site of bin Laden’s razed compound to offer “fateha” and witness a “miracle” water gushing forth without use of an electric motor. Though this could have been caused by a fractured water line, many claimed that water gushes forth like a spring because those killed at the place were innocent.

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