No dearth of mirth

It would be sad if it wasn’t funny

A sense of humour, like philosophy, may not suffice to avert difficulties that befall individuals and nations, but it can go a long way toward making them somewhat bearable. Whatever else one may say about Pakistanis – and they have more than their fair share of weaknesses – you can’t criticise them for a lack of sense of humour. One look at one week’s – any week’s – newspapers should be enough to dispel any doubts you may have in this regard. The following is a sample from last week – top ten news reports that cracked me up:

1. Bannu Jail Break: Prisoners’ names placed on ECL. Bad news for the absconders: no Bahamas bound flights via Geneva now. Quite a few amongst the general public have found this hilarious however, with one summing it up thus: “Also check new inductees in PTI since the jail break.”

2. PIA flight departs one-hour earlier than the given time. The pilot tried to nullify the age old dictum that death has a certain time. He played with time since the planes aren’t safe these days.

Time and tide wait for none;

Why should we wait for them then?

3. Reema & Meera Cuddle at The Red Carpet of PFDC Sunsilk Fashion Week 2012. Even though it was work that brought them together, the rivals didn’t let the opportunity of showing good bonding go begging. Meera was even philosophical when she communicated this deep thought: “A film actress’s value declines when she gets married.”

4. Dr Fakharuddin Chaudhry bids farewell to PML(N), rejoins PPP. The PML(N) was overjoyed when the doctor joined them but he has now left it and has gone back to PPP, citing Shahbaz Sharif’s mental deficiency as one of the reasons. A damning diagnosis from the good doctor, although if personal business empire is anything to go by, Shahbaz is anything but mentally deficient!

5. Dr. Firdous Ashiq Awan former federal minister of information has said that her new portfolio of national regulation and services suits her nature and she is very happy after this announcement and change of portfolio. Is there any end to the list of PM Gilani’s talents? So he is an expert career counsellor as well, well versed in people’s natures, psyches, etc.

6. Shorten your honeymoon and present yourself for the investigation: PM’s advice to his son. The PM knows that there is potential for many more honeymoons. But, as a keen student of history, he also knows there’s a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

7. Rs 33 crore spent by CM in Lahore for iron bridges to cross road by foot. Who on earth climbs all those stairs and crosses the road through those bridges in Lahore? Does this, by any chance, have anything to do with the small family foundry?

8. Osama’s widow wants asylum in UK. She’d like to meet Royal Family. Technically speaking, Mrs Osama is a Yemeni and has no business in this article celebrating Pakistanis’ sense of humour. The fact that she still makes it is warranted by three reasons. One, she doesn’t want to go back to Yemen – that’s a very Pakistani sentiment. Two, she has lived a fairly long time in Pakistan and that should count for something. Three, the ability to express the sentiment of wanting to meet the royal family with a straight face, on the part of somebody who not too long ago wanted a “warrior husband” is again a very Pakistani characteristic.

9. Haroon ur Rasheed informed the nation in his article on April 17 that both political parties had agreed on a property dealer’s name for the caretaker prime minister. Is he, by any chance, referring to the guy who is also rumoured to be constructing COAS’s retirement house, and who is rumoured to be behind closure of the racing case in which 5 people died and one was injured? If so, Mr Rasheed should have shared the joke with the nation by naming the property dealer. This nation appreciates humour.

10. “Adliya Meri Dost Hai”: PM Gilani. This one takes the cake, or the biscuit, or whatever is at stake. Wait a minute – is he talking about Adeela?

The writer is a member of the band Beygairat Brigade.