Ke khushi se mar na jaate, agar aetbaar hota
General Zaheerul Islam, the newly appointed DG ISI, solemnly assures us that the political wing of ISI has been closed down, stopping army’s meddling in politics once and for all. I earnestly hope he is a man of his word, because according to the perception of the layman, jumping from K2 and getting up as if nothing happened is more plausible than separating the army from politics. The whole concept seems a bit too good to be true, just like your dream girl, who is way out of your league, just knocking on your front door with an inviting smile on her lips. Let’s imagine for a minute the reaction inside the house if that happens, that is, she knocks, as in, actually.
Let’s take a camera inside the house to check out the reaction: Oh, look there sits Altaf Hussain in an armchair after joining PPP for the sake of national interest, reminiscing about those bygone days when his party members used to baffle PPP representatives by unleashing hard-core Urdu on them. He sighs when he remembers those times when the MQM used to get inconsolably distressed over petrol price hikes during, coincidentally, every non-army government.
Let’s now pan the camera to Nawaz Sharif, who is in the next room jumping on his bed out of sheer joy for having successfully retained an anti-establishment face. He is overjoyed that finally one of his own strategies has worked. However, Shahbaz Sharif, who is on the other single-bed, is weeping like a little girl, asking the jumping Sharif what was the whole point of their good cop-bad cop strategy, his daring late hour sneaks out to army officials and his borrowed slogans to hang the sitting president when the military was going to be reduced to a non-political, homoeopathic-harmless figure like this. He feels betrayed that bare mian saab has enhanced his own reputation at the cost of chhote mian saab’s, when the latter’s only fault was that he was following to a T another of the elder’s inspired strategies.
The PPP, by way of creating a new enemy to kill its boredom, has collectively started believing in Zionist conspiracy theories. It turns out that there is a handy by-product as well. Babar Awan and Faisal Raza Abidi, master tacticians, have already figured out what to do when PPP is blamed for corruption, incompetence, and bad governance once ISI is no more there to point their fingers at: lay it at the door of Zionists and the yehudi lobby in general.
Imran Khan’s predicament is the most precarious of all – with the notable exception of Sheikh Rasheed’s. Hearing the knock, Khan slips in the bathroom and is knocked out cold. Everybody is trying to bring him back to consciousness. “Wake up Imran…” “You never needed these crutches.” “You are the only hope.” “The civilian establishment is still on your side.” “You will win by a landslide.” “Play like a tiger.” Imran comes to consciousness. He is looking better now. He collects himself. He sits up, looks around, takes a deep breath, and boycotts the next elections. Sheikh Rasheed commits suicide by hanging from the fan; his suicide note saying he wishes to be buried with his wig on.
I am still in the process of storyboarding the next scenes of this film (suggestions from readers are also welcome). While you munch on your popcorn during the interval, I would like you to contemplate on two very interesting occurrences: A Pakistani court on Monday convicted Osama bin Laden’s three widows and two of his grown-up daughters of illegal residency, sentencing them to 45 days’ detention and ordering their deportation. It will take all of those 45 days (and probably more) to prepare the paperwork for their legal departure considering their perplexing and mysterious entry and stay, I fear. OBL and co. continue to be an unalloyed disaster for the region long after he is gone. In terms of foreign exchange, even Raymond Davis was better than this bunch – at least he gave jizya for his expatriation. The OBL family is paying ten thousand (cash) each and is walking scot-free!
The Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan is very excited about the prospects of re-opening of the NATO supply line because that means they get to kill more people. They have threatened, after the joint meeting between the parliamentarians and the military establishment, that if Pakistan allows the NATO supplies to resume, they will target the parliamentarians in retaliation. While it is a win-win situation for the TTP, the parliamentarians are finding themselves caught between a rock and a hard place. Never mind the “this-nation-can-eat-grass” slogans – which are never in short supply – the sad fact is that our economy can’t survive if the US barges in sanctions on us, because that will be the end of our debt rescheduling.
But even if we are to survive sanctions, can our military live without the US? I guess you know the answer to this. I am also confident you know who ultimately decides these things one way or the other (hint: it’s not the parliamentarians). So the parliamentarians are facing threats for something they have absolutely no power to decide. Needless to say, having to make the “choice” is killing them (pun intended).
The writer is a member of the band Beygairat Brigade.
The entire article is disjointed.He has failed to inform the readers what he wanted to say.First para has no relevance at all with the main body.Let us hope next time the ideas expressed have continuity in thoughts
Alu Andey is the height of this guy's talent.
More than that is beyond his range.
Thank God people like Ali Aftab r there in this time of qaht ur rahjal
Waste of time
??????? What he is upto? Jumping on a bandwagon of being anti-establishment. HAHA. Cheap means of fame.
It seems Murtaza from BNN is an agent of the Yahood-o-Hanood-o-Nasaara (YHN) and has sent further YHN agents to defile our brilliant friend Ali ;). Do not be discouraged by their inane comments Ali, plod ahead, you make absolute sense to people who have common sense themselves :).
he is a beghairat from the beghairat brigade…..no tension at all
Didnt understand the article or its point. No symmetry
Who want to get popularity in media around the world??? anyone??? just start abusing army, ISI, Pakistan and Islam….u can get famous in no time.
@ Blue Devil..it is not common sense..it is common NONSENSE.
Every pakistani has the right to abbuse the army and its agencies. Because of the mess they have created. If they do there job according to constitution no one would bother talking about them. So they have to pay what they deserve.
Usman, I had the same opinion as yours a few years back. Mainly because during Musharraf regime, he was not accountable to anybody. In those days these politcian used to tell us that democratically elected government will be accountable for all its actions. But now we can see that no one is accountable in this country. Zardari, Gilani and company are making fun of judiciary judgments. Where is the constitution now?? Now this is democracy. Masharraf was right in sending Sharif and BB outside the country and keeping Zardari in prison. They deserve it. Zardari is still in prison (prez house) and Nawaz sharif is always out side the country.
I think you have gotten Imran phobia, there are a lot of other issues to be talked about, you now sounds as pathetic as Marvi Memon. I mean does Imran have to physically attack GHQ to prove to you that he does not require army's support? And the people you support have also taken the LOTAS like Marvi Memon and Ameer Muqam ,are they also sent in PML-N by the establishment or you have different standards to gauge the same thing? You better talk about the corruption and incompetence of the federal government and political gimmicks of PML-N on the tax-payers expense. I can sense your hatred for Imran Khan, but persistent attack without proof makes you sound nothing more than a maniac trying to get popular.
STUPID ARTICLE IMRAN DONT NEED ISI DUM BAGS
I do not know what has happened to Pakistan Today who has given place to a person like him, blaming establishment for every thing and trying to make connections of Imran Khan with ISI is all the criteria required to get a place to indoctrinate senseless analysis. A person who does not see anything beyond Imran Khan and sounds like he has committed a crime and the whole country is getting prosperous and Imran is a hurdle in the way of country's progress. Well he has chosen a good target to get popular but I really have to think about the credibility of http://www.Pakistantoday.com
getting fame is very easy……..start blaming I S I and Army for everything,americnz will make you either a hamid mir or a najam sethi or any other cheapster in our sold-out media!
what was that?? totally un- understandable. what u tried to say, i think no one get…
The article is quite balanced and depicting facts with humour.keep up the good work.
Let me tell you a very simple formula about knowing an Anti-Pakistani i.e. America is at its peak in blaming ISI and Pakistani forces so those who AGREE with America in this case are Anti-Pakistani because they have sold their loyalty to THEM. SO guys chill and we don't need to take serious such Alu anda type guys but to work hard for better and stronger Pakistan.
They do not have to be anti-Pakistani to envision a Pakistan different from yours.
I do not know what has happened to Pakistan Today who has given place to a person like him, blaming establishment for every thing and trying to make connections of Imran Khan with ISI is all the criteria required to get a place to indoctrinate senseless analysis. A person who does not see anything beyond Imran Khan and sounds like he has committed a crime and the whole country is getting prosperous and Imran is a hurdle in the way of country's progress. Well he has chosen a good target to get popular but I really have to think about the credibility of http://www.Pakistantoday.com
Has ever Pakistan Today asked him to provide the source or a prove to justify his allegations against Imran Khan? or this website is given for granted to make the accusations without the proofs?
Wasted my time on this
Those who have been critical of this article have nothing to say themselves. U should have read the piece with the frame of mind Munira read it…not exactly but for the humour. The fact remains that Pakistan is in thick soup and this Humpty Dumpty is not going to b put together again by all the king's horses and all the king's men, including Imran Khan. As for proof, u guys sound as if the daily newspapers and Kamran Khan spew their garbage with the filter of proofs. Whether our politicians, establishment and v as a nation r plain incompetant or agents of somebody, is besides the point. The best course is to enjoy the rape while it lasts. And Ali provides us plenty of enjoyment.
Bullshit…….simply an attention seeking article…….ARMY ARMY ARMY I S I I S I I S I…………we know that our media got $50 million by obama OFFICIALY……..what's unofficial,Allah knows the best!
why such lousy articles published by pakistantoday, do they have dearth of good writers?
Waste of time. Why are such articles published?
Much of the arguments above saying reading this article is the waste of time or article making no sense. I guess it's not writer's fault it's that you actually have to raise your standard to understand it:P (No offense).
yeah, agreed, and all of them are coming up with the same reason, just changing few words here and there, that is no reason to hate this article :D.. great article.
@ Aftab Saeed: Please stop protecting your son already. He is a grown up man now and should face the world himself. It should be Ali here answering and clarifying the observers.
you tube flick based on term -aloo anday' and beghairat qualifies you to become analyst! then perhaps kolaveri guys can run the world.
Funny article, great job at inserting humor in a very sad political situation, very brave of u to point out imran khans recently aquired support from ISI and the establishment, guess we are going to have a new kings party, inqlaab bik chuka hai 😛
ISI is defending Pakistan gallantly against a treacherous media, a corrupt government, and 3 hostile enemies on the borders.
Salute to ISI!
I hope the author's singing is better than his writing.
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