Phantoms of the opera

Firing Maya Khan will not help the cause. Firing the executive producer behind the show will

Over the past couple of weeks, a lot has been said about the nature of the media in Pakistan. The advent of Maya Khan and the ‘vigil-auntys’ – who have haunted Karachi’s parks more famously than mobile snatchers and sleazy-rapist-types – has called into question some of the most basic principles of free media and has forced people to ask the feared question: just how free is too free? This may be just what the doctor ordered for armchair intellectuals and media critics who, in their spare time, like to help themselves a little while watching Katrina Kaif shaking her ‘Chikni Chameli’ thang. This is also exactly what young people from all walks of life – especially hormonal prepubescents who had just discovered that ‘dates’ are more than just khajoors – wanted. Now that the evil witch of Bin Qasim Park is out of a job, many a serial dater, especially the shuttlecock-burqa variety, can breathe a sigh of relief.

But for those of us who have been in the news business for some time, it is a death knell. It is a sign that the mob (which, Plato tells us, is inherently stupid) has won yet again. It is also a sign that none of us are safe, and that if tomorrow, someone reads these sarcasm-loaded lines and takes them too literally, I may find myself on the business end of a very long, blunt spear. That is a scary thought, especially if you think of it as the price for telling the truth. Our writers, intellectuals, teachers, social commentators, artists, musicians and anyone who has anything to say, can now be held accountable to the whims and wishes of jilted ex-boyfriends, never-been-kissed college girls types and, worst of all, auntys with a sense of moral outrage as developed as professional wrestler’s triceps.

The blasphemy law will now apply to all those who have the necessary grey-matter needed to write a worthwhile 800-word article. And all because of one purple-suit-toting erstwhile morning show host, who, incidentally, does not need to host a morning show to eke out her not-so-meager living. There are unconfirmed reports that she has been invited to host next year’s ‘Bigg Boss’ because Sanjay Dutt is far too docile to adequately crush departing participants’ egos. But this article is not meant to celebrate the short-lived career of the Nikahnama Witch of East Karachi.

The real tragedy here is that there is now a widespread trend of TV channels unnecessarily moralising and sensationalising, using the hackneyed format of sting operations and raid-based shows to bump their dismal ratings. This trend is worrying not because it glorifies certain criminal aspects of society and makes such a big deal out of one man’s (or channel’s) quest to rid the world of this evil. It is worrying because each and every channel, irrespective of audience, size of bank account and editorial policies, is doing this. From the stately aloofness of Dawn News to the rustic datedness of ARY News, no one is safe. SAMAA may have been the prime offender here, but everyone, from Aaj to Geo and from Waqt to Kook, has been jumping onto the morality bandwagon.

Editorialisation of content is one thing, the unnecessarily didactic discourse that has colonised talk shows, news bulletins and, now, sad satire segments, is disgusting to the point of being offensive. I get that parents everywhere are worried about what their children are getting up to, especially if their children have attained puberty. But then, isn’t that the same kind of ‘mothering’ that you and I used to resent when our parents subjected us to it? Isn’t it exactly this kind of social smothering that drove us into the arms of Tobacco, Drugs and Philanderers R Us? Do we not see that reverse psychology works far better than glorification? Did video games not teach us anything?

These are the questions that we must struggle with today. In a world where nothing is sacred, and the pawnbrokers deal in ethics and morality as if they were imitation gold watches, we have come to fear even our own shadows. The darkness within us, which we should embrace, has now been put on a pedestal and made to stand in a corner. Instead of learning from our mistakes, we are reliving them, one by one.

Like I said last week, firing Maya Khan will not help the cause. Firing the executive producer behind the shows will. Why? Because that executive producer was the same one that was behind the other controversial show that brought SAMAA to notoriety. It is because executive producers like these are the real kingpins in this game of electronic mafia wars. They are the modern-day gangsters, using creative media as their tools of extortion and propping up pretty faces so that no one will see the darkness behind the curtain. These are phantoms in our comic opera. Don’t shoot the messengers. Shoot the phantoms instead. That is, if you can find them.

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