Where’s your nikahnama?

By
Syed Hassan Belal Zaidi
-
31
241

Maya Khan is not the culprit here. She is a puppet in the hands of the rating-mongers. Stop watching this trash and they’ll stop airing it.

In a sprawling metropolis known to the heathen as Karachi, a new kind of malevolent despot has reared her not-so-ugly head. Maya Khan, the host of SAMAA TV’s flagship morning show, has stepped up to the plate and become the most notorious TV personality in recent memory, almost overnight. That her descent into notoriety is swifter even than her erstwhile counterpart, Meher Bukhari’s was, is cause for little concern. What does matter is that the well-endowed lass is now the target of a social media witch-hunt and has invoked the ire of white-collar bourgeois individuals from Gilgit to Gadani. The delectable damsel, whose only crime so far has been the mobilisation of the Conglomerate Of Concerned Karachiites Bullying Lovers Out of Clifton Karachi’s Enormous Recreational Sites, is now being billed an Antichrist.

But who is Maya Khan? And how can she make otherwise self-respecting women run full pelt through a public park, under the watchful eyes of several cameras, as if this were a taping of an episode of Baywatch? To answer this question, we may have to go back to the beginning. A time when Nadia Khan, the ‘Happy To You’ queen, ruled the airwaves. Many pretenders, such as Juggan, Noor, Sana Tariq etc tried to emulate her seemingly-inane formula, but to no avail. For every scantily-clad aerobics instructor and random-segment-host that the others managed to scrape together, Nadia did one better.

This game of one-up(wo)manship continued until the day that Nadia got her ample posterior booted out of the Jeem Group, for godonlyknowswhat. With the queen out of the picture, the pretenders queued up to replace her. In the battle for morning show supremacy, there was nothing that these women did not try. Live TV weddings, matchmaking, stories of heartbreak, reuniting lost family members and long-lost lovers and even busting the occasional cuckold; it was all a no-holds barred affair. Then, somewhere in the year 2010, Maya Khan Rind, a pleasantly-attired well-meaning lady from the ranks of the landed gentry, took to the airwaves at the ungodly hour that is 8:00am.

While I can proudly say that I’ve never woken up early enough to catch the show itself, I’ve seen more than my fair share of repeat telecasts. It also helped that I was once employed by the same channel that currently retains Maya’s services and was, therefore, intimately involved with the day-to-day disasters and bloopers that comprised this particular morning blend. And to be honest, I found the show to be rather mundane: she talked about the same old issues that everyone else did. She laughed, cried, wailed, shouted, became infuriated and seemed helpless like all the rest of us. She was, and probably still is, quite human. This was the charm which, in my opinion, lured many a viewer to her show every morning.

Things started to go her way and in the span of a few short months, ‘Subah Saveray Maya Kay Saath’ became the envy of morning shows across the country and everyone wanted a piece of the fair maiden who was serenading the people of Pakistan so sweetly. Then, one fine day in the year 2011, SAMAA TV ran a news package on couples who go out on dates in public parks. They did not invent the subject, mind you, as reports on public displays of affection in places such as the Mazar-e-Quaid in Karachi and the Lawrence Gardens and Model Town Park in Lahore had been urban myths since the beginning of time. But nobody bothered. Mostly because all producers, TV personalities and their cameramen have, at one time or the other, indulged in what we affectionately call ‘parking’.

However, when this lady, having led a perfectly sheltered life, brought her rightist upper-class sensibilities to the small screen, it was a recipe for disaster. You see, contrary to popular opinion, there is no great oversight on content when it comes to shows of a ‘soft’ nature. Morning shows too, are considered ‘soft’ viewing, therefore, nobody on the top rungs of the corporate ladder pays much attention to their content. As long as the ratings are coming in and the people get what they want, nobody has any problems.

The lady in question, apparently, also did not have any qualms about marketing herself as the siren of SAMAA, dressing up as an Arab dancing girl and riding magic carpets as the tune from ‘Bewitched’ played in the background. Everyone was cashing in on the Maya bandwagon because her formula seemed to work. So when she started going around public parks, asking people for their nikahnamas, you can imagine how surprised people were. From being the darling of young men and women everywhere (she did run a matchmaking service on her show for some time), she became an evil home-wrecker, out to rob parents and children of their right to privacy and a good time, not to mention a healthy relationship.

Why would any sane individual do such a thing? Maybe because in her mind, she is doing the right thing. Right by her employers, that is.

The truth is, you can report Maya Khan to PEMRA. You could get 100,000 signatures on a petition calling on SAMAA to kick her out. But that would not accomplish anything. Like it or not, Maya Khan is not the culprit here. She is a puppet in the hands of the rating-mongers. Stop watching this trash and they’ll stop airing it.

Follow @mightyobvious on Twitter for more incoherence in 160 characters or less

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31 COMMENTS

  1. Honestly speaking, Maya Khan can be forgiven for simply being Naive, as most of the morning shows have got nothing to offer. Most of the times, these shows become agonisingly boring & the hosts seem desperate to c

  2. ” well endowed” , ” delectable damsel” ,really, is this the best defense of her antics on the show.what she did was to sit in judgement on other ppl,she along with her gang stalked her prey like vultures.what right did these women have to be the moral police? this was not a matter of ratings,the gang of women were out to catch and shame those girls they deemed engaged in immoral activities,in one of the clips the women congratulate themselves that we’ve stopped dates in all the parks of karachi today.this demonisation of other women,this shaming of other women was a shameful example of female misogyny.it’s bad enough when men go around judging women on the basis of the length of their clothes or how many boyfriends a girl has had,but when gangs of women go around prowling parks to shame other women ,it’s especially disappointing.

  3. I still have a doubt about this whole episode, was it a publicity stunt to see how modernize or backward Pakistanis are in today's world even behind the veils? It could be a research work because this is how media is being used all around the world.

  5. she’s an adult and from where I see it educated and intelligent too so you can’t give her benefit of doubt. No body forced her to go on with such stupid idea

  9. double standards need to go why is it okay for middle and upper class kids to bunk school and collage and meet ecah other at espresso ,or dance parties where everything is going on and believe me half the ppl there are not married …..totally out of line this show the psyche of rich ppl they can get away with murder while the poor awam are stone to death because they just wanted to hang out with each other …unacceptable these women are worse then taliban

  10. Can't a married couple go out in parks???? Can't they spend good time with each other?? it reminds me of 90s era in karachi when police used to harass people asking their nikahnama…………certainly there are familes who dont like to be seen on tv coz of privacy matter/relgious matters……..but you can't deprived them to go around in parks………….there are hundreds of restuarant fill with couples who are not even in relationship and they are just passing time and flirting…………why she doesn't expose those night parties/farm house parties/pvt parties where everything is allow……..why can't she dare to go out in 5star hotel question them how many couples have shown them their nikahnama at the time of booking……………..why can't she dare to go out in restuarants and question those couples sitting there about nikahnama……..BECAUSE she THINKS that these are respectable places and people can do anything they want over there because they spend money there………….

  11. Well if they have went to some high fi hotel/ restraunt cafe or fast food point they might have found more couples instead… the only thing they wanted to point out was what a medium class do… While the reality stood there these things not gonna end up till we teach our kids whats right and whats wrong.. If she want to point out the black sheeps then she should go to five star hotels and check how many people have nikah nama's who booked their rooms their… what all the media group n other do everyone knows already…. so no need for me to tell that.. Maya khan simply a pathetic act by u 😛

  13. Agreed. I didnt even expect her to be regretful..I have seen her show once. She is brash and uncouth and she represents people who want to see the stuff she offers….Stop Saama or any other channel that offers similar content…..

  15. i couldnt agree more to wht u said Hassan..but i slightly disagree to wht u said at the end.. "She is a puppet in the hands of the rating-mongers." i think shes sensible enough to decide whts ethical and whts not.. she seemed quite comfortable and confident having a bunch of aunties around her and invading the privacy of other citizens of the country.. as if she hasnt done something that was or is questionable.. its so easy to pint fingers at others.. May Allah be with us and guide us..ameeen.. peace..no offense to anyone..

  17. Well written, but I still don’t agreed with the blame game. I have never worked with the media but as far as I know, the script is always prepared and here we are talking about the whole subject of the episode. Maya khan, if could not be offensive to accepting such a concept than could be defensive in protecting her image.

  18. Great piece Mr.Zaidi. I do not know how she became Khan!! But her get up on Moharram and the very next day's get up is simply an insult to the intelligence of the viewer.Samaa is the channel that went out of the way to defend a street bandit,brother of some reporter of this channel.There must be some thing very wrong with this rating crap.

  19. Well …. Probably we all and for sure that “all” includes me too , are giving the support SAMAA wants, let it be positive or negative , they need publicity . People like me who don’t bother to sacrifice their sleep for these sort of shows will come up with the curiosity to watch what bad is MAYA doing.
    Any ways I totally agree that’s it’s a kind-of unethical to destroy the privacy of the couple ( and for sure their respect in the society) but I would rather rate it an inch up of the talk shows most of us are almost addicted of watching in the eve regarding politics.
    If the law of a country do not have an issue with couples hanging around in parks ( I wont coin the word DATING) then producers of these morning shows should tilt their radars to other problems our society is involved it. I don’t know whether any member associated with morning shows would bother to read me , I would request you to “lets try to figure out the problems such as : Public transport: Drug Cartel : Street Mobbing and hell amount of things we need to address and come up with a solution”

  20. I refuse to see her as a “puppet”! she enjoys immense popularity and has enough POWER to say NO to what she doesnt geuninely endorse! i see her equally responsible and accounatble as the “rating-mongers”!This woman has clearly become deludedl by the amount of success she has savoured!

  21. lovely article…. seriously… they shoulda tried random restaurants while they were at it…. sirf ghareeb ka bacha date nahin marsakta??? kya na-insafi hai

  22. She should be kicked out from job . we should by cot such a stupid SAMA TV channel and all programs. to expose the privacy of any one to publish or send on air any statement which you have taken by cheating that you take off the record from any one . or to expose the privacy of any one its crime. it was a big social moral legal crime by MAYA and her Team and also SAMA TV
    Dr Hussain Advocate

  25. I dare her to try that with me, i'd break all their cameras. How dare she go running into people's private lives. Have some decency. If people wanna date, let them date.

  26. I refuse to see her as a "puppet"! she enjoys immense popularity and has enough POWER to say NO to what she doesnt geuninely endorse! i see her equally responsible and accounatble as the "rating-mongers"!This woman has clearly become deludedl by the amount of success she has savoured!

  27. As very rightly said every one is responsible for his own deeds and no one will be accountable for the actions of others… if it is a matter of right or wrong one should look into his/her deeds first and then give comments on others.. She is now become a molani but few days ago she was dancing in a program along with male guests.. where was her image and islamic vision.. where are so called Human Rights activists.. these media mongers have no right to enter into privacy of people or places/shops/houses, every one has legal rights and every one can use them in the court of law and file suit against the channel and the bitch(ugly face, body and soul)

  28. You’re joking right?Delectable Damsel? Fair lady? She’s an idiot who went too far to prove nothing. And she doesn’t look like the fair lady but a chubby witch who probably doesn’t have a very good relationship with her husband. (That’s the nicer version of what we used to say in school)

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