White Lies

Move over Sahara and Mithal, there is now a Pakistani wedding that has the chattering circles chattering overtime. This one is a union between the daughter of the media mogul Mir Shakil-ur-Rehman and son of an investment banker that made inroads into the media business. And it all happened in Dubai. First came the invite or rather a parcel wrapped in velvet carrying a gift for the chosen. We hear that this package could have been sold for a premium had the security arrangements at the Mina Salam Hotel been lax. The reason being the guest list of celebs, of course.

Take the Dholki on the 27th December. It was a song and dance but one where family and friends were joined by Bollywood’s Sonu Nigam on karaoke. Mehndi, the next day was a step up in upmanship. It was celebrated with friends, family and five singers including Udit Naryan, Sunidhi Chauhan, and Sadhna Sargam with Shaan making a guest appearance.

But then came the icing on the wedding cake. On the wedding day itself, in walks Shahrukh Khan with Kareena Kapoor and Arjun Rampal. Now just before SRK walked in another VVIP, former President Musharraf had been lapping in the limelight but enter King Khan and the crowd discarded him like a used tissue. The stage nearly collapsed under the onslaught and the screams of joy were heard for a mile. It was announced that these were SRK’s admirers from Lahore and Karachi to which the super star replied “And I am a Muslim from Peshawar”. More screams of joy. Mark you, all this joy and enthusiasm came without the help of a bottle. And here was another news break. In a city which oozes with liquor brought in from every corner of the world, this was one event that was as dry as dry can be.

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It seems the info boss in Islamabad can use her tears just as well as her punches to tear down the deadliest of opponents. Minister Firdaus Ashiq Awan had been complaining for some time about a “gang of four” that met regularly to plot her downfall or should we say her departure from the cabinet. She had often whispered that Kaira, Sethi (principle secretary) Nadir Chan and Nazar Gondal met regularly to hatch plans aimed at axing the lady politically. She complained of a whispering campaign which blamed all government woes on the media and therefore on her mismanagement of the media.

Finally, Ms Awan decided she was going to take off her gloves and pull a few punches of her own. She then went on to use a woman’s traditional weapon: tears. Under full glare of the media, she rendered her resignation and attacked her opponents with tears or at least the sound of tears. The PM was reduced to putty, the resignation was rejected and all was forgiven. Your move, Gang of Four.

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Making Babar Awan the Vice President of PPP raises many questions but one in particular. You see there is no position of a vice president in the PPP constitution. Some say that it was Babar Awan who misinterpreted the constitution for the president to make a cosy corner for himself and get a few more perks. He may even have charged the presidency for this opinion. Now that does make sense. As for the elevated office. Office naqli ho ya asli, office office he hai.

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