Hell Found

Hell found me just when I was least expecting it. It was a bright sunny morning and the effect of weather was quiet visible on people, as the day had all that nature has to offer. The blue skies, fragrance of healthy grass, songs of birds and the cool fresh air had filled the day with freshness. But, for me it was just another day. I could hear the sounds of cranes and laborers working around me that I did everyday.
Not only these things were a routine for me but also a thought that echoed 24/7 in my head “I am living in the deepest corner of hell”. When all of a sudden the scaffold I was standing on broke and everything around me became blur and dark and the sounds became distant. Within an instant what I could hear was the sound of ambulance and all the rush at the hospital but could not respond to anything. It felt as if someone had locked me up in a room where the people could see me but could not hear me. In a single moment I had become an object from a living being. And that very instant I realized that the deepest corner of hell I had believed in till that moment was only my life as hell had just found me.
Seven helpless days passed in the hospital. The feeling that I could not even comfort my wife when she required it the most pinched me bad. I did not know even then that for me being unconscious was a blessing as there were far more horrifying realities to be faced.
Unfortunately, I gained my consciousness when my wife was away. For an instant, I wanted to see her, hold her in my arms, comfort her and let her know how happy I was to be back to life again. But before I could do so my wife entered the room, her eyes were full of tears, the pain and misery obvious on her face was killing me inside but one expression, hurting me the most was the feeling of sympathy towards me for I had only seen love in those eyes for me till now, I badly wished it were anger in place of that sympathetic feeling, I felt crippled and yes I was. I suffered serious abdominal and pelvic injury and my lower body was completely paralyzed.
I was devastated and wanted to be all alone. After my wife and I got back home, laying in bed alone a flood of thoughts and questions went through my head. “What am I going to do now?” “Why me?” , “Life is unfair” , “Am I going to live rest of my life being dependent on others?” but the most dominating of them all was to kill myself. I had nothing to do except for lying in the bed, which was making me go insane. For the sake of giving myself some relief I started giving myself a look busy do nothing effect. I opened my side table’s cabinet and started to look into the things. I strongly wished that I could find something sharp that I could use as a weapon to end my misery and I found it. It was a book by “Debbie Ford”, why good people do bad things.
The title of this book instantly snatched my attention towards it as the complete title stated, “Why good people do bad things”, and “How to stop being your worst enemy”.
Finding nothing better to do I started reading the book and it had some magic in it.
As I read it I felt motivated and my perception towards my own life begun to change. I thought about my situation and I had only two options either kill myself or to change myself and live my life. So I choose the one, which seemed to be difficult but was the right thing to do.
I started to find the positive aspect of things and life and thanking God for my life instead of thinking of killing myself. As my interest in such books increased I came to know that throughout my life I had been extremely thankless. My focus had always been the things that were missing in my life instead of those, which were in my life and were beautiful, because of which I was unable to achieve anything in life and was living an ordinary life.
I think of that accident everyday as it reminds me to be thankful, and focused on the positivism of life instead of the darkness inside of me. I also learnt to change my attitude towards my relations and instead of asking for more I try and give more now. As people say, “Charity begins at home”, the first change that I brought was towards my wife. I stopped taking her presence for granted which I never did intentionally though, yet it was there. I realized that my wife was my biggest achievement in life. I kept our wedding picture with me and got our marriage certificate framed and displayed in our room. My wife and I consulted a construction litigation team after I got back home. They recovered a settlement having a value of $ 2,000,000 on my behalf. Every difficulty that I faced in life made me stronger than ever. It took me five years to become who I am now. By who I mean a better, thankful and finally a successful man.
Things started becoming easier and I chose to bring change in other’s lives before they had to go through what I did. I am now a motivational speaker and find my satisfaction and happiness in my work. It seems as if this is what I was born to do. And today I would want everybody to know that hell or heaven, is hidden inside a person’s heart, it’s upto you to whom to choose as your friend for life and it will find you itself then. I won’t say that hell never found me, but I chose my heaven through it. The power of choice always remains in one’s own hands and for me it sure is my biggest asset.