Every child is a blessing and precious gift of Allah Almighty. And His every gift should not be considered as a cause of weakness and wrath. In fact, these are the circumstances, bitter experiences of life and expectations from others which make us feel strong or weak. This article will focus on how people relate to their children with their weaknesses and strengths owing to the circumstances they pass through. “Too difficult to answer, as once you become a mother it gives you a sense of confidence to fight the whole world,” says Mrs Afsar. Her husband is a retired civil engineer and her brothers-in-law were also highly educated. But, unfortunately, they could not acquire a sense of respect for others. And she herself belongs to a noble and educated family.
She says that the status of a mother gives you a feeling of superiority, as per Islam the status of a mother is four times superior to a father. Despite all this a mother has to sacrifice a lot, as “my life is full of sacrifices and tests since my wedlock”. She says, “When I gave birth to my first baby boy my family advised me to get divorce, as the attitude of my in-laws was highly inhumane, particularly, my husband used to torture me physically and mentally. “My divorce case lingered on for two years during which I was threatened with kidnap of my child and many other ways. “Just because of my minor son I decided to give up and was ready to go back, despite my family’s opposition. Now I have five children and I raised them very well, and I have been rewarded with good and obedient children. “For me, my children were my weakness because only for whom I accepted a vulnerable life, which was full of thorns, instead of a life of my own choice.”
On the contrary, Ms Afshan Aziz, a lecturer at Sir Syed University of Engineering and Technology and has only one daughter, says, “After the birth of my daughter I and my husband decided to give our daughter a quality life, like good quality education and proper attention, as these things develop quality of thinking that help lead to a successful and meaningful life. “I strongly believe that the responsibility of parents is to produce quality human beings for the society. “I must say for me, my child is a great strength. As at the time of marriage I held just a Masters degree and did not do any job, afterwards I decided to upgrade myself and improve my own quality of life to be a role model for my own child. “Therefore I continued my studies. I did my MPhil, now am doing PhD as well as I pursued my career as teacher now I am a lecturer.
“Feeling of ensuring quality of life for my daughter has given me courage and motivation, that’s why I’m here.” Whereas Ms Saleema says, “This society makes a mother a weak entity, as after becoming a mother she does not have any other option except to compromise with everything.” Ms Saleema is a sex worker and got widowed after the birth of her fourth child. Her old and physically-challenged mother also lives with her.The pain of her life can be felt, while she was narrating her ordeal and non-stop flood of tears rolling down from her cheeks, which shrank my whole soul. “I am not proud of what I am doing.
I must say it is not a profession it is compulsion, at least for me, as I don’t have any other option to feed my four children and old mother, but to plunge into this world of vices.” Continuing she said, “Now you decide whether my children are source of strength due to whom I have been compelled to do all this. “I can’t see my children and paralysed mother dying of starvation.” In another case Razia, a 26-years-old domestic aide, said, “Bibi my husband does nothing and the responsibility to run the family is on my weak shoulders. I have three kids.” Though she is only 26, she looked almost double her age. She got married when she was only 15 years old. Her 10 years old daughter assists her. While an eight years old daughter looks after chores and also her two years old brother. She says that her husband was a gatekeeper but recently he had an accident and got seriously injured and disabled. She said that both her daughters are helping hands for her.
“One works with me and the other manages chores, though they are too young to do all this; moreover, I don’t have tension and worries about home and my little son. Both are a great support for me”, she adds. Meanwhile, Professor Ms Zohra Zia, who has been in the field of teaching for the last 36 years and is now working for a private University as an Associate Professor; she raised four sons, continuing her career. For her, children are a great source of strength. She says, “All my sons are highly educated, well settled and all are married. They all, Mashallah, are living cheerful and successful lives.” Furthermore, she says, “Parents don’t expect financial support instead they desire moral support and care from their children. And my sons are very caring and they respect us a lot, so do their wives. ‘I still work just to keep myself busy and most importantly, I have got used to it’, she says smiling. “Though, my sons want me to stay at home and rest, and spend rest of the time with my grand children. I feel stronger when they show their concern, care for me and their obedient behaviour never makes me feel weak.” While for a father, Mr Raiz Ahmad, who is in his mid-80s and lives all alone, satisfaction and happiness of his children is a source of happiness and satisfaction for him as well.
“My children are well settled in their lives and busy as well. No matter they care for me, though sometimes I feel their absence a lot, feeling of their well established future and cheerful lives give me peace of mind, which is enough for me to get strength.” The grave matter of concern is how the misery from the lives of the people can be minimised? Who should be held responsible for all this? Well! I believe the existing system of the country and the government are wholly responsible for making the parents, especially, mothers weak and compel them to compromise with the unbearable situations. The government should ensure provision of enough stipends from Bait-ul-mal, to widows, divorcees or for those families, who don’t have any bread earner. Women are vulnerable strata of the society and the government and the society should be liable to ensure their protection, as it is their due right.
The civil society should also come forward with this approach to financially support them. This is the prime obligation of well-to-do people and rich class of the society to save them from being forced into the life of vices.There is also dire need to make people, especially, men aware about the rights of their wives, defined by Islam. Moreover, children should understand their obligations with regard to serving their parents, which gives them true happiness and feeling of strength.
