Being queer

A debate over the status of queerness in Pakistani society has been reinvigorated after an incident of male-male marriage made headlines after being taken to court. The case consists of a UK-returnee having a contract of civil partnership with a male being taken to court by his brother for allegedly refusing to marry a girl. Marginalised in discourse: The debate over sexuality and the place of queerness has many contours. Psychologists and sexologists claim that queerness has been a part of society and remains part of it due to a number of psychological and sociological reasons integral to human social existence, however, the religious intelligentsia prefers to remain in state of denial on the subject.
On the other hand, a number of groups have begun to advocate for queer rights in Pakistan, encouraged by the Indian Supreme Court decriminalizing homosexuality in 2009. Constituted of a number of renowned personalities including names amongst media, these groups prefer to keep their identity hidden due to the fear of persecution from ‘mainstream’ society. However a monopoly over discourse remains with their opponents with religious clerics and much of the citizenry labeling queerness a a crime against nature, society and the family system. Students of famed educational institutions both religious and modern have admitted to being queer but said they cannot admit it openly due to societal pressure.
‘It is part of culture:’ Sexologists said the tendency is strong in the ‘all-male’ environments of single sex schools and colleges, madrassas, the army. The regions of southern Punjab and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa are also known for being more acceptable to the practice. In the Seraiki belt, it is considered a symbol of pride to have a younger boy associated with men of celebrated status. But the tendency is also part of modern social networks such as the fashion industry where it is promoted as a status symbol. A fashion industry insider confirmed the myth about queer men in the industry. Speaking to Pakistan Today, an aspiring model Nadeem alleged he was rejected in the industry because he did not become part of ‘’gay’ activities.
The business of body-massage – both modern massage centers and traditional malishiyas – has also been linked with the informal institutionalisation of queer trends. A masseur Haroon Rashid on one of Lahore’s busiest roads told Pakistan Today that customers often demand that he perform ‘gay’ services. “The majority of the men are middle aged. I charge Rs 1,000 to 2,000 depending on the nature of service,” said Haroon. “Those who cannot afford to pay for services, find partners by offering them a lift and then inciting their feelings,” he further revealed. Speaking to Pakistan Today, Ganga Ram Hospital clinical psychologist and sex therapist Mirrat Gul Butt said that anything deviating from widely accepted norms is considered a disorder in psychology therefore homosexuality is a deviation from our norms but not from modern culture.
She claimed that she had witnessed a rise in the tendency in the last decade. She said that each case had blamed their family for neglect in childhood which led him to involvement in such a relationship.
She narrated the case in which a male turned from a heterosexual to a homosexual after a breakup with his female partner. “There are many cases of men having a successful married life but also carrying gay identity,” she added. She said conflicts between parents, no check on children, openness and improper dressing being shown in media and the lack of sex-education caused were leading individuals towards such tendencies.
‘Segregation is a cause:’ Describing the process of developing queer inclinations, Punjab Institute of Mental Health consultant clinical psychologist Mubashar Ahmad says that a majority of boys who come to him have a history of early age abuse from their peer group and that their first impression of sexual relationships helps promoting the tendency. “In our society, upon becoming an adult, access to a female partner is more difficult than access to a male, and boys frustrated by sexual desire use the easy way to fulfill it,” he told. “It begins with fun and then they develop a preference for men,” he said. “The fear of segregation from society keeps them silent about their sexual orientation,” Mubashar said.
Psychologists insisted on imparting sex-education to children upon reaching the age of puberty to better equip them to dealing with the tendency. However, most clerics contacted declared it strictly forbidden in Islam and refrained from talking in detail on the issue. Responding to a question on the presence of queer activities at madrassas, Jamia Naeemia spokesperson Zia-ul-Haq Naqashbandi he negated the claim and said the ‘immoralities’ were prevalent in colleges and universities, where the influence of European culture through media and the distancing of youth from Islamic values spreading it. “The death penalty must be sought for those involved in such crimes,” he said.
‘It’s only natural:’ Speaking to Pakistan Today on anonymity, a queer rights advocate said queer gay activity and queer identity are two different things. “Queer activity is a process which each individual experiences at least once in his life while queer identity is the state of being attracted towards the same sex only”, he said. “It is neither unnatural nor is it a danger to society. It has been there since the start of human history and even animal contain this tendency,” he said. The art work was contributed by Ahmad Masoodfor chay Magazin.