Weak and frail, Rani is lying in bed waiting for her seven-year-old daughter to bring her something to eat. Her weak body is no more capable of moving about the house and taking care of even the simplest of chores. As she lies in bed, she experiences a flashback of the last nine years of married life. At 27, she has seven children, four boys and three girls.
Last time she delivered a child, her doctor specifically warned her that having another will kill her, yet here she was lying in bed five months pregnant. She has been working alongside her husband and earning money to meet the needs of her growing children, but at the same time, the hard work as a domestic aide, and the toll of bearing seven children in nine years, has brought her this close to death.
After her last delivery, when Rani inquired about the procedure to deem her unfertile forever, the doctor said it was too dangerous for her, keeping in view her health status. When the prospect of a minor procedure to stop the sperm production in her husband was shared, his fury had no limits. He refused, even if it meant losing his wife.
For the last one year, Rabia has been greatly troubled by her high fatigue levels resulting in her low performance at work. Being a banker she is required to be efficient and proactive form nine to five. In her case as well, having borne four children in four years has left her bones weak and other health issues. Rabia belongs to a very small segment, of highly educated and well to do people, of our society yet, her husband insisted on having four children, one after the other hoping to have a son who will carry his name to the next generation.
Today she has three daughters and a son, but not the same health that she once enjoyed. The two shared stories have nothing in common except the plight of two women trying hard to survive in this male chauvinistic world where a woman is deemed equal when it comes to earning the bread for the family, but is a mere tool in the hands of a man when it comes to taking supreme decision like: “Do I want to live, or do I want to give birth to another life?”
The fabric of our society is woven in a very complex design, comprising of threads of unjust values and confused states of mind. To elaborate more on this statement we need to look at the different segments of our society, which ranges between the extremely rich and educated to the extremely poor and uneducated. In between the two are more segments of those who are religious and then those who think they are religious. In addition to all this there are orthodox and taboos that also play an important part in our lives.
In this society the male gender is raised in a specific fashion to believe that he is superior at the end of the day. The poor and the uneducated men make sure their ideas and needs are taken care of by the wives, even if it means taking up torturous ways to make the inferior half obey. Whereas the educated and the well to do segment of our society believes in sharing their thoughts and ideas with the better half but ensuring the results are pleasing to themselves.
Men having selective religious views believe in having as many children as possible to ensure the religious teachings are followed, without realizing that nowhere does the religion say that one should produce children by endangering ones own life. They also believe that women are made to obey the husband and appease him at all times or face the wrath of first the husband and the Allah. For them, the needs and will of a woman bears no meaning and they believe in only one way and that is their own way.
On the other hand the sometimes elite and not so religious men of this society also follow the same culture but in a different manner. They believe in women’s rights but at the same time they also tend to overlook matters such as family planning if it does not suit their needs. Having understood the society and its male chauvinistic views it is not at all hard to conclude that matters as imperative as birth control are not in the hands of a woman alone. She is dependent on her husband to decide her fate even if it means loosing her own life.
Our tomorrow is dependent on our mothers of today, it is about time we realise their importance before it is too late.
