Tota Shaheed is the Indian parrot that was martyred for predicting that Pakistan would win the semi-final against India. They should have waited before wringing his neck and then retired him. Poor parrot. At least this time we didnt kill our coach, said a wag on Facebook. No one is suggesting that poor Bob Woolmer was killed. And what about poor old Abdul Ghaffar Brohi alias Chacha Brohi going into hiding because he had bet that he would shave off his moustache, that enduring symbol of masculinity, if Pakistan lost. He wont shave it and the boys dont stop ringing his doorbell!
Congratulations to India. Lets hope that the final is as thrilling as it promises, for I am writing before the match. Look at the bright side: at least our womens cricket team is world champion. If the rules allow, why not replace some of the boys with some of these girls? They couldnt do any worse.
Seriously, its only a game, not a matter of life and death: just because some behaviouralists have suggested that sport is a substitute for war doesnt make it war. One side had to win and the better side won okay, the better side on the day won. Actually, India didnt win so much as we gave it to them by repeatedly shooting ourselves in the foot.
How can you win if you drop the best batsman in the world four times? My beautiful mother-in-law would have taken those catches, but not our butterfingers. If the first or second catch had been taken, it would have been another story. How can you win when your most experienced batsman, apart from dropping one of those four catches, gets overwhelmed and out for little? How can you win when your 36-year old vice captain (and captain of the Test team to boot) falls asleep at the crease, only to wake up as the train is leaving the station, leaving his team stranded? How can you win when you dont even know when to take the batting power play? I accept that hindsight gives 20/20 vision, but these things are obvious.
On the bright side, much has changed. Despite some crying and TV abuse, Pakistan has moved on. So has India, though their religious fanatics did say that they wouldnt allow Pakistan to play in Mumbai. (Perhaps God didnt want mayhem there again). No longer does our team have to hide in defeat. Skipper Shahid Afridi was the picture of grace and dignity, congratulating the Indian players and their fans, thanking his own boys, saying he was proud to lead them and saying sorry to the nation. He neednt say sorry. He took the team further than most people imagined. They punched above their weight and came very close to victory. This despite the chaos we have been in after the spot-fixing scandal and being pilloried in the international media. Not to forget a Cricket Board that beggars belief. Afridi was appointed captain at the last moment, after the squad had been selected. This can only be the product of minds that defy stupidity. He rebuilt a splintered team and has nearly united them. Ranked sixth in the world, we beat higher-ranked teams current World Cup holders Australia and Sri Lanka on its home ground. No politician or general has ever said sorry for breaking the country or for corruption that has destroyed what is left of it. Why should Afridi when he has done so well?
The Indians have moved on too. There was none of the crowd misbehaviour one remembers in Bangalore in the 1996 World Cup quarter-final against Pakistan or in the semi-final against Sri Lanka in Calcutta, though I might be speaking too soon for I dont know what might happen in Mumbai if India were to lose. For the first time, an Indian prime minister had it in him to invite our prime minister to watch the match. Sadly, our rulers have not moved on. True to form, a gaggle of freebooters accompanied our prime minister on the junket. They tell me that the freebooters were not treated as they expected to be. Good for them.
We prayed a lot but forgot that Allah is for all humanity. He certainly is not for hypocrites. Haw haioopar wala tau Bhagwan nikla. Wrong. God is God, no matter by what name called. The Truth. The One and Only. People of different religions call Him by different names. God is His English name; Bhagwan is Hindi; Khuda is Urdu and Allah is Arabic. The highest and only abstract deity in the pantheon of gods and idols in pre-Islamic Kaaba was Al Lah The One. Hence Allah. That is the name of God in the Quran The One. Theres no nepotism or favouritism in His Book. All our prayers came to naught because God only helps those who help themselves. We leave it all to God.
Platitudes aside, its good to be gracious in defeat, but dont make a habit of it. Failure is an orphan. The only option is to win. Period. If you lose you go back to the drawing board. If they have any shame, the ones who should say sorry and resign immediately are the Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board, his fellow travelers and the selection committee. They havent because they have no shame. Did you see Chairman Ijaz Butt walking across the border, stomach first, claiming credit for reaching the semi-finals? They didnt even have it in them to say sorry like Afridi did for no reason. Nauseating. The patron-in-chief should say sorry too for selecting this failed cricketer to head the Board and then persisting with him. And so should Butts patron, the defense minister, for foisting him on us. Even nepotism has limits but not it seems in Pakistan.
We keep comforting ourselves that, on paper we are the most talented team. Are we? The team selected had no opening batsmen, no opening bowlers except Shoaib and no wicket-keeper. Gul is good at the death. Riaz has still to mature. Poor Junaid was reduced to a passenger. On top of that, they cannot catch or field. The idea is to be the better team on the ground, not on paper. Otherwise we will just remain paper tigers.
Captain Shahid Afridi kept his promises though: Pakistan would reach the semi-final and would not allow the great Tendulkar to score a century. Someone should have told him that if you set your sights low you will perform low. So it was.
My three-year old granddaughter Zara was the best: Maybe they didn’t have a good nap.
The writer is a political analyst. He can be contacted at humayun.gauhar786@gmail.com