Conspiracy theory overdrive

Subtlety is definitely not the standout feature of the whole Raymond Davis saga; be it the shots that rang out on Qurtaba Chowk, the driving skills of the get-away driver or the handling of the whole affair by the (largely Urdu)electronic media. The local electronic media with its reach with a local language is now basically reporting the Davis case as symptomatic of everything that afflicts this country and, of course, there is no worse affliction for many than the US calling the shots.

It was a nightmare for Davis but our largely conservative media could not have wished for something betteran American firing shots (be it in self-defence) in a busy square and killing locals. In the true spirit of a fair trial, the police chief called him a cold blooded murderer and no lawyer is willing to defend the man who is arguably entitled to immunity. Forget about men with guns on motor-bikes lurking around or an absolute failure to even consider explanations other than an American conspiracythere are, we are now being persuaded on prime time television, many more Davises. Other than the fact that it is a common surname, I highly doubt that along with its associated connotations.

There is a disturbing realisation that has dawned on me. Absurd allegations and conspiracy theories on the Pakistani media reproduce faster than rabbits or even those relying on asexual reproduction. These theories relating to plans of domination and control by the US are not like tree branches that you can chop off; they are like little brats that are born each day who run off in all directions and when you give up chasing them, they start coming out from all nooks and corners.

The worst thing that could have happened to Raymond Davis that fateful day was that all that happened took place in a country called Pakistan. While he awaits his fate and decisions by local (and foreign) courts, Davis is now being accused by one of our top talk show hosts of things that any spy should be proud of: he actually wanted to ensure that his clients got their hands on nukes. I am not sure how many nukes are on the black market but didnt our symbol of national pride A Q Khan offer to sell them like oranges? But that too was an American conspiracy, I suppose. And Daviss alleged clientele is one that would make any good intelligence agent proud: our very own raised, sponsored and bred Taliban and the associated Al-Qaeda. This is not all. It gets better. The plan was to make sure that these militants attack US targets (if not the US) with arms and nukes supplied by Davis and many more Davises (apparently they didnt even want to change the surname) so that the US could find a justification for attacking Pakistan (since we are oh-so-special).

The allegations also carry an economic motive (since that always makes people sound smart): a war against Pakistan would help the growth of the US arms manufacturing industry to revive the US economy. Final fact: the source of all this information is Russian intelligence. Yes, I did just say all that. Okay, stop laughing. No, seriously. I should be fired from among this papers columnists for filling the limited writing space with things like what I just said. But it is an unfair world and while I may be fired for wasting your time, an electronic media network will increase its ratings by relying on conspiracy theories. Is it the anchors charm? His deceptive, nearly impossible to decipher good looks or reassuring smile? Oh well, lifes mysteries.

Put simply: the universe is against us. By the time we snap out of this deluded view of the world only God knows how late it will be. Let us break the news to each otherwe are not a country worth occupying by a foreign force. If the world worries about our nukes, look at A Q Khan and you might see the point. The US and India still have far greater things to worry about. If the Taliban and Al-Qaeda men were allowed to display their corporate sponsors on the clothes they wear, we would find the logo of Pakistan and Saudi establishments as big spenders over the years. But Naomi Klein won over and Taliban decided for no logo.

Another thing that might be news to that great anchor person: we are messed up in ways that our children might have to pay for generations and it is our own fault. The inability to reflect on and counter social and educational apartheid, distorted interpretations of religion and training of kids to kill and maim was not caused by any Davises. It happened at home and blaming any number of Davises will not solve it.

The question of the real Raymond Davis purported liability is one to be decided under the canons of international law. We need to respect it. But our demons are here to stay, long after Raymond Davis discovers his fate.

The writer is a Barrister of Lincolns Inn and practices in Lahore. He has a special interest in Anti-trust / Competition law. He can be reached at [email protected]