White Lies

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This is about the Lady maliciously rumoured to be the First. As it turns out, that was far from the case. She is nothing but your standard jiyali and proud of it. The lady, who is active in the US wing of the Pakistan Peoples Party, is always dressed in shalwar kameez of either the colours of the Pakistani flag or the PPP tricolour. At a recent party function stateside, she is said to have declined offers for an innocent cup of tea (ladies, there is no such thing!) from overzealous suitors by saying she was already committed to Bhutto-ism. On another occasion, she said she was an ardent supporter of the (drum rolls, please) Zardari Doctrine. This prompted a party stalwart to say that in the times of yore, the jiyalas were passionate about the party and were not a personality cult.

The jiyalas were never a personality cult? What has this party stalwart been smoking?

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The (former) minister of the interior had quite a fan following amongst US officials. The Yanks sure must be rooting for his return to the cabinet. Apparently, they thought, given how bad the security situation is to begin with, here was a man who could at least make lemonade out of lemons.

But it appears that the endearing moniker that they gave him to make him feel one of the guys was a bit ironic. It was (not making this up, scouts honour) Raymond Malik.

And our security czars popularity amongst the local public? Well, as they say, nobody loves Raymond.

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