Curiosity is not a crime. At least, not when I went to school it wasnt. My teachers always encouraged me to question, criticize and analyze. But then there are many who would call my professors heretics simply because they told us the truth.
The truth, you must understand, is not for public consumption. The masses are always on a need to know basis and they usually dont need to know anything. Like a baby with a rattle or a kitten with a ball of wool or even a dog chasing his own tail, the sheep of Pakistan are herded around by shady-looking characters in black Mercedes and over-starched suits. These suits that represent the blissfully ignorant masses have about as much empathy and patience for common folk as Elmer Fudd had with Bugs Bunny, or vice versa. Therefore, saying that these rulers are cut off from their subjects is likely to earn you the nickname Captain Obvious.
Ever since WikiLeaks broke the Cablegate scandal and laid bare the dystopian nature of all international diplomacy, the Orwellian term doublethink has found a new lease on life. Nothing, it seems, is ever as it seems in the cutthroat world of foreign affairs. Also, the US is up to its old Cold War tricks again, using good-looking female agent provocateurs as envoys to entice and cajole local politicians into doing Langleys bidding. Chief among these, and the one most relevant to us, is former viceroy Anne W Patterson. A seemingly unassuming woman, Frau Pattersons shoulder has been particularly promiscuous and has been leant on by many a politician looking to score brownie points with the Yankee masters. Everyone, from the Super Sharif Bros to the Pakistan Zardari Party have at different times poured their cold, dead hearts out before the wily temptress. In doing so, they not only violated several national security guidelines, but also proved, once and for all, that gentlemen do prefer blondes.
Things have become so embarrassing for the folks at the Foreign Office (FO) that they have been forced to don their aprons and play nanny to careless ministers, bureaucrats and even the odd serviceman. My sources sources are telling him that fresh instructions issued from the Directorate of Shah Mehmood Rodham-Clinton have barred all serving government functionaries, including the heads of state and government, from meeting personally with white men and women. In the FOs minds, the able men and women tasked with governing the ignorant masses are irresponsible and indiscreet when it comes to dealing with people of the Caucasian persuasion. To translate, complexed desi-type people love nothing more than to chat up the fair-skinned colonisers and paint Pakistan as one of the most miserable backwaters in all of the world. The retards who malign our fair land thinking that theyre cementing their chances of obtaining political asylum, or at the very least an Order of the British Empire have finally been outed. And about time too, its been quite a while since anyone was last lynched in public. No one merits inhumane treatment more than these unpatriotic dimwits who have proven they would not hesitate to sell even their souls if the price is right.
But its not like the Americans are blameless either. Running espionage, counter-espionage and Spy vs Spy through established diplomatic channels is unethical at the very least. Never mind that the information gleaned from shady sources in dimly-lit rooms was mostly inaccurate, the issue here is one of credible intelligence. I mean, if hearsay and gossip are the cornerstones of the US intelligence, its no wonder that the most powerful country in the world messed up its post-9/11 response. The Iraq dossier scandal and the absence of a smoking gun were swept under the carpet. But this time, the sheer volume of dirt people have on the Yanks is overwhelming. The question now is, is an untrustworthy superpower still a superpower? Mr Assange seems to think not. I think Ill agree.
The writer is a broadcast journalist.
